oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I will die if light touches me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
