My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
