Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
