You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
