It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
