No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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