awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
