Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
