you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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