Apparently you make a good broom.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
