at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
