just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
soo... how was my night?
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