Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You were trust falling into bushes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
