The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You need a sexual gate keeper
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
