I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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