There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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