I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He has the fingertips of a God
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