you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
