only if we run a train.
done.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
