so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How external is "for external use only"?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize