So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
