need another drink. this is the easiest way
What did we do last night that was yellow?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
