singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
