Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
