You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
