dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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