Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
