ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
