He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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