just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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