i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
