ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
