so explain again why im purple
no
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
