Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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