Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize