It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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