Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
