i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
