I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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