arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
tonight lets celebrate not being married
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm both gender and math confused
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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