Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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