My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
