He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize