I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
