I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
