Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
