If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
