is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
