White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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