We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Boobs speak an international language.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
