what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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