Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize