I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
