I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
