only you would photoshop your dick
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Can I color on your dick again?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
