STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're so nebulous sometimes
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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