is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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