In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
