Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize