I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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