I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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