My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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