At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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