Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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