HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
